


Breaking and Entering Your Heart

by Lord Chungus (Lord_Chungus)



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Being Homura Is Suffering, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Madoka is too pure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 11:29:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15629787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lord_Chungus/pseuds/Lord%20Chungus
Summary: Kyoko, Sayaka, and Madoka decide to break into Homura's apartment to find out what she's hiding, but Madoka uncovers something completely different from what she was expecting.Oneshot.





	Breaking and Entering Your Heart

“Should we really be doing this?”

Madoka wrung her hands nervously, eyes darting across the hall.

“Relax,” said Kyoko. “I’ll be done picking the lock in a few seconds, and then we’ll be inside.” Pausing to fiddle with the lock, she continued.

“And don’t be worried about Homura finding us. Remember, Mami’s on lookout. If Homura comes, we’ll know.”   
“It’s not that,” said Madoka. “It just feels wrong to break into her apartment. We shouldn’t be invading her privacy like this.”

“Oh come on,” said Sayaka. “Don’t you want to know what she’s hiding?”

“Of course,” said Madoka. “But it’s wrong to go behind her back like this!”

“I’m in,” said Kyoko. She stood up, stretching her arms before pushing open the door.

Inside was a sight that would stay with the three girls for years to come.

The room was pure white, almost like a void. It was nearly impossible to tell where the floor ended and the wall began, or even if there was a wall.

In what they assumed to be the middle of the room, there was a collection of floating, holographic screens above group of curved sofa-like objects. Hanging above both of those was a series of gears that they assumed to be connected to the roof. The only other option was that they were just floating there, which was even worse to think about.

“Oh my God,” said Kyoko. The three of them were still standing in the doorway, having frozen at the sight of what awaited them inside.

“S-so are we just going to stand here, or are we going to go in?” said Sayala, trying to hide her fear.

Looking at each other, she and Kyoko both stepped in at the same time. Madoka followed behind them, still hesitant.

“Well, what are we waiting for?” said Sayaka. Let’s get looking!”

The group dispersed, each going their own way.

Kyoko headed towards where she felt the kitchen was, ready to see what kind of eldritch monstrosities Homura kept in her fridge, and if they tasted any good.

_ Wait a second,  _ she thought to herself.  _ Will she have body parts in there or something? That would be awesome! Gross, but awesome! _

Meanwhile, Sayaka headed towards the bedroom.

“Sayaka!” said Madoka. “Why are you going there? That’s her bedroom!”

“Exactly,” said Sayaka. “It’s her bedroom. That’s gotta be where she keeps all her super-personal stuff. If we’re going to find anything, it’ll be in there.”

“But…” Madoka sighed, doubt on her face. Looking back up at Sayaka, she said “How about I look in her room, and you go check out those screens?”

“If you say so,” said Sayaka. “But what’s with this change of heart? I thought you didn’t want to invade her privacy?”

“If you find something big and super-personal, like a photo of her with a dead friend or something, you know you’d show it to us. But if I find something personal..”   
“You’ll keep it to yourself.” Sayaka sighed, putting a hand to her face. After a moment of deliberation, she said “Fine. But if you find out she’s actually a serial killer or something, tell us.”

Sayaka stalked off to the holo screens, intent on finding out whatever the transfer student was hiding.

Madoka sighed in relief and pushed open the bedroom door, hoping to find absolutely nothing.

Unfortunately for her, she couldn’t be more wrong. 

There was a bed in the corner of the room, and a clothes drawer next to it. On the far side from the drawer was a computer desk, with an computer screen on top of it and a desktop computer underneath. Homura must have forgotten to turn it off before school started, because the screen turned on when Madoka opened the door.

She squeaked and went to turn it off, but she couldn’t help but notice the screensaver.

“Is… Is that me?”

Sure enough, the screensaver was a picture of her and Homura holding hands. The two of them were smiling, and she noticed that Homura seemed less subdued in this photo. She looked exactly the same, with the hair and uniform she wore now, but she also looked genuinely happy.

Most worryingly of all was the fact that Madoka never remembered having this picture taken.

She was sure that she and Homura had no pictures together, and she was absolutely sure that she had never held hands with her mysterious classmate.

_ So then where did it come from?  _ She wondered.  _ Is… is it photoshopped? But why would she photoshop a picture of us together? And where did she get the photo from? Is it her with another girl, or did she just get the picture online? It has to be photoshopped, so where did she get the picture? _

But despite her insistence on the picture being digitally edited, Madoka couldn’t help but notice how familiar the small details were. They were both wearing the Mitakihara Middle school uniform, and she recognized the park they were at. 

EIther the girls in the picture were also from her school, or…

Or the photo was real.

_ But how? Nothing makes any sense… _

Shaking her head, Madoka stepped away from the computer and decided to have a look around the room, hesitation completely forgotten.

She walked over to the drawer, yanking it open to reveal… Nothing much.

The drawer contained clothes, most of them school uniforms.

Madoka wasn’t sure what she had expected to find. Maybe a body-pillow of her? 

Gently closing the drawer, she went back to checking around the room. Seeing nothing other than the computer and bed, an odd idea popped into her brain.

Getting down on her knees, she looked under the bed to see if something was hidden there.

Her idea turned out to be a good one, as she saw what appeared to be a small book lying on the floor.

Reaching under the bed, she pulled out a small leather-bound book. It had no title, only a note saying “property of Homura Akemi”

Madoka gently opened it, wondering what it could be as she turned to the first page.

“ _ Dear Diary,”  _ said the book. “ _ Today is Wednesday, March 16th. I was just released from the hospital, and I got this diary on the suggestion of one of the nurses. I’ll be transferring in to Mitakihara Middle school in a few days, and I’m so excited to make friends! I just hope they don’t think I’m a loser. Oh, who am I kidding. They’ll all hate me. Of course they will...” _

 

_ What?  _

 

Madoka stared at the diary, puzzled by what she had read. 

_ That was the most un-Homura thing I ever read, _ she thought to herself. _ Excited to meet people? Worried about her image? She wasn’t cool and mysterious like now, she just seemed… lonely. Is this what’s going on in Homura’s head? Oh no, was Sayaka right about Homura pretending to be a cool transfer student because she thought it would make her cool? _

 

_ That… _

 

_ That is the most adorable thing I have ever seen. _

 

Back in the main room, Sayaka called out to the rest of the group.

“Hey guys,” she said. “Come check this out!”

Shoving the book back under the bed, Madoka went back to the main room.

Inside was Sayaka, staring intently at one of the holo screens.

The screen showed a drawing of an upside-down woman made out of gears. Above the illustration was the word ‘Walpurgisnacht,’ drawn in bulky black letters.

“Do either of you know what this thing is?” Said Sayaka. “It looks like a witch, but I’ve got no clue why it’s so important.”

“Walpurgisnacht…” said Kyoko, hand on her chin. “That’s it! She mentioned it when I was at the arcade. It’s some super-powerful witch that she’s preparing for, and she wants my help with it.”

“Your help?” said Sayaka. “Why hasn’t she told me about this? I’m a magical girl too!”

“Well, you know Homura,” said Kyoko. “She’s a bit of a…

“Complete and total bitch?” said Sayaka.

“That’s not true!” Said Madoka.  _ Homura isn’t a b-mean girl, she’s just really adorable and thinks that it makes her look cool! But wait, I can’t tell them that! If she wants to keep up the act, then I can’t betray her by telling them myself! _

“She…” Madoka struggled to explain how adorkable Homura was without giving away her secret. “She’s just not good with people.”   
“Sure,” said Sayaka. “She threatens us and acts like she doesn’t care about people because she’s socially awkward. Got it.” She snorted, rolling her eyes. “I know you like to see the best in people, but can’t you just admit that Homura isn’t a good person?”

_ But she is! _ Madoka had to stop herself from yelling at her best friend, no matter how mean she was being.  _ Calm down, Madoka. She doesn’t know about what Homura’s actually like. But even so, that’s no excuse for how mean she’s being to Homura! _

“Sayaka,” she said, face completely serious. “I know that you take first impressions very seriously, but can’t  _ you _ just admit that maybe you were wrong about Homura, and just give her a chance?”

“Oh shiiiit,” said Kyoko. “This is getting serious-”

“Shut up, Kyoko,” the two girls said in unison. A few seconds of staring and a whisper of “sorry,” from Madoka, the two friends were back to arguing.

The two of them rarely argued, mainly as a result of their personalities. They were both good, nice people, so most conflicts were defused without any drama.

But on the rare occasion when they both found a hill to die on, things tended to get heated.

“I already gave her a chance, and she used it to try and let Mami die! What would have happened if Kyoko hadn’t been there?”

“Left Mami to-you mean when Mami tied Homira up so she couldn’t interfere? And Kyoko, why did you bother coming to the barrier in the first place?”

“Cause Homura called me,” said Kyoko. “She said that Mami would die if I didn’t come to help out, and she offered me a few grief seeds.”

“You’re kidding me,” said Sayaka. “The transfer student-why didn’t you guys just say that, then!” 

“Because you never specified why you hated her!” said Madoka. “You just go on about how she’s evil and brush us off when we try to correct you!”

She sighed, rubbing her hands over her face.

“Sayaka… You're my best friend, and I really do care about you, but you’ve got to stop assuming the worst about people you don’t get along with. Just because someone’s rude or weird doesn’t mean they’re a bad person.”

“I don’t do that,” said Sayaka.

“Yes you do,” said Madoka. “Remember how you thought Kyoko was evil? You absolutely hated her, until you two made up at the church. She went from being ‘selfish evil murderer’ to ‘poor girl who’s had to do bad things’ over the course of a night. Who’s to say the same thing won’t happen with Homura, if you just take the time to get to know her?”

“Don’t bring Kyoko into this,” said Sayaka. “Besides, that was different. She apologized and started to be a better person, and I started to see her for who she really was. I didn’t just magically fall in love with her!”   
“You didn’t?” said Kyoko, smirking at the blue-haired girl.

“S-shut up, Kyoko! Anyway, the point is that Homura’s totally different from Kyoko!”

Madoka ground her teeth, frustration building towards her friend.

“And how would you know?” she said. “You don’t even know the first thing about her!”

“Which is why we’re here,” said Sayaka. “So that we can find out whatever she’s hiding!”

Kyoko rummaged through her pockets, taking out her phone and holding it to her ear.

“That’s not how we should be doing it!” said Madoka. “If we’re trying to find out what’s wrong with her, then we should get to know her and have her tell us herself, not break into her home and go digging through her stuff!”

“Oh please,” said Sayaka. “She’d never tell us what’s going on.”

“Uh, guys?” said Kyoko.

“Kyoko, would you please be quiet!” said Sayaka

“So then we should respect her wishes,” said Madoka. “If she doesn’t want us to know, then it’s wrong to go behind her back like this!”

From behind Sayaka came an ice-cold voice.

“I couldn’t agree more,” said Homura Akemi.

“Where did you come from?” said Sayaka. “And why didn’t Mami call to warn us? If you hurt Mami...”

“She called Kyoko,” said Homura. “Who tried to warn you, but left when she realized you two wouldn’t listen to her.”

She flipped her hair, staring intently at the two remaining intruders.

“Now if we may move on to the more pressing matter, what exactly do you think you’re doing in my home?”

Madoka shook, hands trembling as stared at the floor in shame.

“I’m sorry, Homura,” she said, hands pressed against her chest. “We wanted to figure out if you were doing something weird, so we decided to come and look around to see if we could find any clues. I know it was a huge invasion of your privacy, and I’m so incredibly sorry.”

Homura continued staring at the two of them before sighing, and putting her hand to her face.

“Sayaka Miki, you have ten seconds to leave this apartment before I blow off your kneecaps. Madoka Kaname… would you please stay behind? We should talk.”   
“No way!” said Sayaka. She grabbed Madoka by the arm and started walking towards the door. “Come on Madoka, let’s get out of here before she goes crazy and kills us.”

“No,” said Madoka, rooted in place. “You wait for me outside. I should talk to Homura.”

“Alone?” said Sayaka. “Who knows what she’ll do to you?”

“Don’t be silly,” said Madoka. “She’s not a serial killer. I trust her.”

“Fine,” said Sayaka, turning away from the two of them. “But transfer student, if you do anything…”   
“You will attempt to gut me like a fish,” said Homura. “I know, but as I have no intention of letting Madoka come to harm and lack even the slightest hint of respect for you, I don’t care.”

Swearing under her breath, Sayaka stomped out the apartment and slammed the door shut.

Sighing, the two girls turned to each other.

“So Homura,” said Madoka. “What was it you wanted to talk about?”

Homura stared at the cute girl, before averting her gaze, a faint blush on her cheeks.

“Madoka… did your group find anything?” 

Madoka could barely stop herself from squeeing at how absolutely adorable Homura was being. 

_ She’s worried we found something embarrassing! _ Madoka thought to herself.  _ If only she was always this cute… But then she wouldn’t be the cool beauty! What a conundrum! _

“We split up,” said Madoka. “Sayaka found something about a ‘Walpurgisnacht,’ and I’m pretty sure Kyoko only found a snack. But I went into your room. I’m really sorry, but Sayaka would have gone if I hadn’t.”

Homura had frozen when she head about where Madoka had been, but tried to force herself to listen to what was currently being said.

“Y-yes,” she said. “That would have been bad. Much better that you went.”

“Thanks,” said Madoka, rubbing the back of her head. “Anyway, it was all pretty confusing, but I may or may not have gotten really curious and I maaaybe kind of read your diary.”

Homura’s eyes went wide as she stared at Madoka.

“So,” Homura said. “You-you know?”

“Yep,” said Madoka. “And I just wanted you to know that I support you. You’re still my friend, and I really care about you. You’re a great person, and I’d hate to see you so sad and alone.”

“Madoka...”

Homura stared at her friend, trying to wrap her head around what she had just heard.

_ Madoka knows about the time loops, _ she thought.  _ And she isn’t weirded out, or afraid, or even sad! She knows, and she still thinks of me as her friend. As a good person… _

Homura stepped forwards, eyes starting to tear up. She lifted her hands up, before freezing and slowly lowering them back down.

Recognizing the gesture for what it was, Madoka smiled at the shy girl and opened her arms.

Homura immediately plunged onto Madoka, wrapping her in a bone-crushing hug. She started sniffing, unable to hold back the tears.

“It’s okay,” said Madoka. “Just let it all out.”

She patted Homura’s head, holding the other girl against her chest.

In her head, Madoka was starting to piece together just who exactly Homura Akemi was.

Based on what she had read in the diary, she could guess that Homura was not exactly a happy person. She had seemed lonely and rather self-loathing, and Madoka had to wonder if the mysterious girl was suffering from depression. 

_ It would fit, _ she thought.  _ She was convinced that everyone would hate her, and she has always been distant. I’m not an expert on the subject, but it seems to me like she was really depressed before she came here. Wait, is that what she wished for? Did she wish to be super-cool? And now she’s crying in my arms, because she’s worried about what people will think if they know she’s actually just awkward and depressed. _

Truthfully, Madoka found that to be both sad and heartwarming. It was obviously sad that Homura was experiencing such pain over something like how her peers viewed her, but Madoka knew that if Homura opened up to her friends and showed them the real her, they would accept her in an instant. Madoka could rest easy knowing that Homura would have a happy ending.

“B-but,” said Homura, incapable of forming full sentences due to her sobbing. “How can you still-after reading everything- how can you still say that?”

“Shh,” said Madoka. “It'll all be okay.”

“How can you say that?” said Homura. She raised her tear-stained face to look at Madoka, still sniffling. “How can you say that, when you know what I’ve done? When you know who I really am?”

“That doesn’t make you a bad person,” said Madoka. “You may have made a few mistakes, and you may not have been the best with people, but what really matters is that you tried. You tried, even when it would have been easier to give up. And no one can fault you for that.”   
Homura’s grasp on Madoka tightened, sniffles turning into wailing sobs that wracked her body.

“It will be okay,” said Madoka. “And I’m sure that the others would say that as well. I know you don’t get along with them that well, but if opened up to them, I know they would accept you.”

Homura took a few seconds to try and stem the tide of tears before responding.

“You-you know that doesn’t work! If you’ve read the diary, then you know what happens when we all work together! They're too fragile, they fall apart too easily! I-I just… I can’t have a repeat of the third timeline. I just can’t…”

Madoka froze, eyes widening as she tried to process what she had just heard.

_ Timeline? Is Homura a time traveller? I think I may have jumped to conclusions. _

Unaware of Madoka’s epiphany, Homura continued.

“I know you always see the best in people, but I can’t risk that. Everything is going so well this loop, but if I get friendly with them it’ll ruin everything.”

Homura looked up at Madoka, continuing.

“And if it all goes wrong, I can’t handle-” Homura stopped as she saw Madoka’s expression of shock, worry overtaking the mess of emotions fighting for dominance in her mind. “What’s wrong? You- you didn’t know about the loops, did you… And I just… Oh no…”

She jerked away from Madoka, off balance from the sudden lack of support.

“Madoka, I-I thought you knew,” she said. “You said you read my diary, and I…”   
“I did read your diary,” said Madoka. “But only the first entry. I thought you were sad and awkward and pretending to be cool, not-not a time traveler.”

“I’m sorry,” said Homura looking away. “I shouldn't have pushed this onto you. It’s better for you to just stay away from me.”

Tears once again filled Homura’s eyes as she realized she had probably just succeeded in hurting Madoka, the only person who could have cared about her. She really was a failure.

She was useless.

She was stupid.

She was alone.

She was-

She was being hugged by Madoka.

“I’m not going to leave you,” said Madoka. She pressed her face into Homura’s shoulder, as much to comfort the other girl as to hide her own tears. “And what I said earlier still applies. I still care about you. You’re still a good person, even if you’ve had to do awful things. This time loop, you’re doing to… to save someone, right?”

“To save you,” said. Homura. “But I’ve failed so many times. If I was any good I would have saved you years ago. But I can’t. I still can’t. I’m worthless…”

“Don’t say that!” said Madoka. “If you were worthless, you wouldn’t be trying so hard to help me! If you were worthless, you would have given up a long time ago! You’re an amazingly strong person, Homura, and it breaks my heart that you can’t see that. You… how long have you been doing this for?”

“I’m not sure,” said Homura. “Keeping count got too depressing after the hundredth loop, but that wasn’t too long ago.”

“More than ten years…” said Madoka. “I know for sure I would have given up after the first few loops.”

“No, you wouldn’t have!” said Homura. “You were so strong in the first loops, and you haven’t changed since then! You were an amazing magical girl, and I know you could do it!”

“I don’t think I could,” said Madoka. “It takes strength and willpower to do the kinds of things that magical girls do all the time, but it takes a different kind of strength to watch everyone you care about die and forget you. I know I couldn’t watch Sayaka and Mami and Kyoko look at me with blank stares, and I know I would break if I had to see them die over and over.”

She pulled away from Homura, hands on the taller girls shoulders as she stared into her eyes.

“I know that Sayaka and Kyoko and Mami wouldn’t be able to handle it either,” she said. “But you’ve been doing this for  _ years! _ That’s as amazing as it is sad, and it’s even worse that you can’t see that.”

“No,” said Homura. “I’m not amazing, I’m horrible! It’s my fault that you’re still in this mess. If I was smarter, or stronger, or just a better person, then you would be safe! This is all my fault!”

“It’s not your fault” said Madoka. “None of this is your fault, nothing! Homura, I…. I forgive you. I forgive you for not being able to save me. It’s not your fault.”

Homura only cried harder, pressing her face into Madoka’s shoulder

After a few minutes of hearing nothing but crying, Sayaka got bored waiting and went off to find Kyoko.

It was a good decision, because Madoka had absolutely no intention of leaving Homura alone, especially not tonight. 

She called her parents to inform them she’d be sleeping over at a friend’s, and then went to work preparing dinner for the two of them.

A few hours later, they were lying together in bed, shoulder to shoulder.

“You really don’t have to sleep in my bed,” said Homura. “I can handle being alone for the night.”

“Just because you can doesn’t mean you should,” said Madoka. “You’re a strong person, Homura, but that doesn’t mean you have to shoulder every burden all by yourself.”

Homura looked away, fidgeting. 

“Good night, Madoka.”  She said.

“Good night.”

Homura's arm twitched, but stayed where it was.

Neither of them were very surprised when Homura woke up with her arms around Madoka, but neither of them were really unhappy about it either.  
  



End file.
